The one about the pub with no beer.
The one where the pub ran out of beer
Run 2637 5th November 2022
from The Vine
Hare: Mouthwash
RA: Reach Around
Scribe: Nosedive
The hare for the day was our esteemed GM, Mouthwash, whose first job was to find an RA from the assembled mob, so he could blame someone else for the appalling rainy weather, Scrumpy having cried off before the run began with a bad cold. Reacharound reached out and nearly retched as he was forced back into his previous position as RA for the day. He took the blame for the rain with his usual self-control, asking whether the ‘on inn’ trail would pass the Southampton Arms, there being no drink stop on the run.
The baying and soggy pack set off on a loop around the streets and over a railway bridge, before entering Hampstead Heath, where more loops around all the ponds Mouthwash could find exhausted all but the strong and fit (ie everyone).
The walkers also got onto the Heath, and I presume they found the trail, as they all got back to the pub, somehow. Fa T'Bastard went a little weak at the kneee at one point but managed to safely return.
The rain had washed away quite a lot of the marks, so it had to be re-set as we went, which was fine if you weren’t at the front and checking. Well, that’s my excuse for losing both the trail and the pack somewhere near Kenwood…
Despite not drinking on the day (dentists orders…) Nosedive suggested to Smartarse and Reacharound that an impromptu stop at the Southampton Arms would be appropriate, where Black Hole and our delightful new virgin walker Just Vince from Belgium also found their way. I must have had a premonition that the only real ale on offer at The Vine would be ‘off’ by the time the pack returned (apparently it was off before it was taken off…). At least some of us had a decent pint.
However, Mouthwash did redeem himself by persuading the pub to give the Hash eight free pints (of ridiculously fizzy beer - evidenced by the length of time it took to pour out and then drink…). Reach Around was told he had to strictly limit the down downs in the private bar upstairs to 10 minutes. Three quarters of an hour later we still had 4 pints to get through and he had run out of misdemeanours to punish. The only visitor was from San Francisco, Tuna on Top, who convincingly said she had enjoyed the run, and that the rain made a change to the fog in ‘Frisco. Yeah right… But she said we were all to look her up next time we visit the Bay.
Master Baker was punished for not turning up with any sweet treats for the pack. Last Tango and Contour got a down down for coming late, with some excuse about the train strike affecting the trains… Rambo would have got a beer for turning up late and leaving early, but as he was not there, Parsons Nose (Hash Cash for the day), had to stand in as a look-a-alike (it must have been their similar grizzly grey beards). Vince from Belgium and Tufnell Park who works with Reach Around (lucky her…) got two down downs, for some reason, before Mouthwash took over the circle and announced that Lofty had reached the amazing total of 1000 runs with London. She got a down down of prosecco and the rest of the bottle for herself and to give to her friends (except that Thunderthighs seemed to drink most of it and was seen emptying the last dregs into her glass…). Congratulations to Lofty - and enjoy free hashing in the future!
So, no fireworks to report (the rain would have ensured they were damp squibs) except for anyone who went to see More On and Martian Matron's display at the Bowls Club that evening), no Guys were set on fire (it was far too damp for that…) and only Pope nearly became the victim of a plot against himself… On on.
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